courtship begins with a hurting heart (still under construction)

Most of us have been conforming to a trend that has not been around enough time to bring out positive results while having had enough time to create many troubled hearts and heartaches. This trend is currently known as "dating". Of course, you are lucky if a set date is scheduled, an activity is planned out, and whether you know who you are dating (the risk in blind dates). While the trend still feels hot like out of the oven, the consequences that are being reaped are scolching. Ladies, how many times have you cried in the middle of the night feeling like you went all out and out of your way to please that special someone. How many nights have you dreamed about him only to continue fantasizing about your possible future with that hunk in your daydreams? How many times have you felt burnt out? How many feel that your thoughts of that other person is sucking the life out of your brain? How many excuses do you fly by for that other person? Most importantly, how long have you been doing this? How many guys have you given bits and pieces of yourself just wanting their attention and when that "relationship" fails you move on the the next best thing. I have gone through all of this. I have wasted so much of my time. Even though I read and try to follow God's Word, I seemed to be waisting myself away. Until, my heart was lethally crushed. In God's amazing love, I was always protected. The guys I had set my eyes on have always respected me and not intentionally hurt me. I was doing the hurting to myself actually, all they did was carefully avoid me and my baggage. This vicious cycle continued, and I am in the process of regenarating my mind, until I found an alternative. This alternative is known as courtship.
Courtship is what a Christian should be following as the standard in lovy dovie relationships. What are the steps? Step One: Believe in Jesus as your Lord and Savior (with this relationship you can't help but love Him). Second step: Pray and follow Christ with "all your mind, strenght, heart, and mind". Third step: Wait on the Lord (you have to TRUST God that He will bring you Mr. Right - who will be a Christian). Fourth step: Both of you shall seek the Lord for wisdom and guidance and a confirmation. Fifth step: Make the relationship known to your parents (spiritual counselors). Sixth step: Get to know each other spiritually (group outings). Seventh step: Emotional attachment. Eight step: Marriage. Ninth step: Physical oneness. Tenth step: Praise God.
Before I knew of courtship, I would take the lead in my relationships. I would set up the times I would see that special someone, I would make excuses for them, I would do, do and do. I would not even consider waiting (unless it was for his call - which would never happen). I would skip over steps and would not even consider some. Now, I have asked the Lord for Him to "restore the years that the locusts have eaten away". The locusts being my sinful drives and desires (lust not love). These locust have been eating me away. I have asked God to "take brokedness and create it into beauty once again". It is a hard process, one that is taking much time. I feel hurting right now because of these new standards I have discovered, but I know that as a pricess, for I am the daughter of the King of Kings, I am to only expect the best and only God has the best for me. After writing this, I see more things that I need change, this only means more prayer.

"Seek God and you will find Him",
Silvia